| Today I passed a thermometer at a bank that read | | | | are living banks (and weather forecasters), ready to |
| 110 degrees, but I am not telling you that to show | | | | take your deposit and hold onto it until they die. |
| you how hot it was. I am telling you that because | | | | Some may say that depositing money into a |
| this bank really needs to fix their thermometer. | | | | kangaroo's pouch is bad because there will be no |
| According to their thermometer, it was also 110 | | | | interest on the money. But think again -- we're talking |
| degrees in December. There are a lot of people, | | | | about a kangaroo hopping around with money here. |
| places and things that can be more accurate with the | | | | There's gotta be a lot of interest there! |
| weather, and as I've never said (but have always | | | | A weather vane: Nothing beats a good weather vane |
| wanted to), "Whatever I trust with the weather is | | | | with a metal rooster on top of it, except for maybe |
| what I also trust with my money." Here are some | | | | a weather vane with a real rooster on top of it. All |
| examples: | | | | people need to do is hide their money somewhere |
| A random old lady: Certain beings can predict the | | | | on a weather vane because most people will never |
| weather through their bones, and that group includes | | | | think to look there for money. In fact, most people |
| random old ladies and dogs. I specify "random" | | | | don't even look at them anymore for the weather. |
| because that way I won't get e-mails from people | | | | It's a win-win situation, with you being both the first |
| stating, "Hey, why are you messing with my | | | | winner and the second winner... |
| grandmom? Are you saying she's like an alien or | | | | A man-eating fish with a keen sense of finances and |
| some kind of meteorologist or something?" And no, | | | | the guarding of finances: No explanation necessary. |
| I'm not. I am talking about a "random" old lady, and | | | | An outdoor basketball court: One can determine the |
| grandmoms don't fit into that category, not even on | | | | weather by the amount of people playing basketball |
| Bingo Night. Regardless, my plan is to give my money | | | | outside, as well as what they are wearing when they |
| to one of these random old ladies instead of keeping | | | | play. So the weather is taken care of already. As for |
| it at a bank because I know this lady won't go too | | | | the financial aspect, I would put all of my money on |
| far with it, and if she does disappear, I'll know to find | | | | -- or near (why be picky?) -- the top of a backboard. |
| her in Florida. Also, I don't have to worry about her | | | | That way the only people who could reach it already |
| making any silly investments except for lottery | | | | likely have lucrative contracts and wouldn't need the |
| tickets and candy buttons. Plus, who is going to try | | | | money anyway. If it turns out that someone else is |
| to rob a random old lady? It's just not feasible... | | | | able to grab the money, I'll just call a foul at some |
| A kangaroo: Kangaroos were created with pouches | | | | point afterwards and I'll get two free throws, a |
| for a reason. Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing | | | | suitable replacement for cash... |
| to do with holding their young. In reality, kangaroos | | | | |